Periodic Table of Meat

[Kelly]

Pack some ginger, soy sauce, snow peas, and chopsticks, and you'll be able to wok to work if your car breaks down.

[Kelly]

Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave
CHICAGO–A deadly meatwave swept through the Chicago area over the weekend, leaving an estimated 40 residents dead of steaks, chops, ribs, bacon, and various other forms of meat exhaustion.


Paramedics administer first aid to a man who collapsed from smoked-sausage inhalation.

"This is easily the worst meatwave I've seen around these parts since the summer of '79," said John Gruznek, a Chicago gravicologist. "Most of the bodies I've examined were bloated beyond all recognition."

"The excessively high level of pork loins, sirloin tips, bratwurst, and other meats was indisputably the number-one factor in these deaths," said Chicago mayor Richard Daley, speaking from his temporary command center at Ruth's Chris Steak House on North Dearborn Street. "Most of these people consumed a considerable fraction of their weight in animal flesh before ultimately succumbing to meatstroke."

"This meatwave," Daley continued, "is a clear hazard to anyone capable of chewing and swallowing Chicago's vast array of delicious, succulent meats."

Max Peltz, director of Emergency Medical Services And Barbecue for Cook County, said that non-stop ingestion of beef, pork, chicken, lamb, and veal had caused the victims' digestive systems–and, ultimately, their entire bodies–to shut down.

"The human body, as you may be aware, is roughly 60 percent water," Peltz said. "However, many don't realize that it's also 75 percent meat. If that percentage rises too high too quickly, it may result in a distended stomach, intestinal bloating, and even death. Believe me, it's not a pretty way to go. A coroner never forgets the first time he examines the body of someone who died from roast-traumatic stress."

According to Peltz, the meatwave victims' causes of death have ranged from cardiac beefurcation to smoked-sausage inhalation. There has even been one confirmed indirect meat-related fatality, a 51-year-old Evanston man who died from a catastrophic smothering in mushrooms and onions.....more

Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave

[Matt]

I had to check the link because it seemed plausible in this day and age.

[Kelly]

http://meatamerica.com/
http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforum ... erica.html

[Kelly]

[Matt]

That's gross, but I would totally eat that.

[Kelly]

Anyone care to "meat me" in Denver?

Rocky Mountain oysters (wink wink) and fried center-cut alligator tails are available as appetizers. Hmmmmm....but what to have for dinner?

Buckhorn Exchange Restaurant
http://www.buckhorn.com/suppermenu.php

[Kelly]

Yesterday was National Jerky Day. I wonder how Jim celebrated...and if he visited Meat Rushmore in NYC.



News 1,600-Pound ‘Meat Rushmore’ Comes To Columbus Circle For National Jerky Day

[BBvideo 700,419]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLT0Zw7YKYo[/BBvideo]