Let's have some Pun!

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Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Fri May 13, 2011 1:44 pm

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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby hobkyl » Sun May 15, 2011 8:48 pm

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“There’s an inconsequentiality to our lives that living in the wilderness shows up. Mountain are real, they set their limits, they set ours. They expose us, make us vulnerable and strong at the same time. “
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Mon May 16, 2011 12:15 pm

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby ApproachingLight » Mon May 16, 2011 9:24 pm

I realize this waterfall web site with photo sharing LENS itself to puns, but don't you think it should F-stop?
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Tue May 17, 2011 2:05 pm

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Sat May 21, 2011 5:59 am

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:42 am

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:41 am

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:52 pm

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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:47 am

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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby Matt » Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:17 pm

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Re: Let's have some Pun!

Postby cbobcat49 » Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:38 pm

1. Two antennas met on a roof ... fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much ... but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says ... "I'll serve you ... but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar ... and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm ... and says: "A beer please ... and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc .... I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well ... It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly ... "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day ... but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted .... "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know ... I amputated your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says ... "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly ... so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank ... proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel .... and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour ... the manager came out of the office ... and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked ... as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins ... and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt ... and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ... they name him 'Juan.' Years later ...
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture ... she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds ... "They're twins! If you've seen Juan ... you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi ... as you know ... walked barefoot most of the time ... which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little ... which made him rather frail and with his odd diet ... he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh ... man ... this is so bad ... it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf ... who was a mystic ... escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

21. And finally .... there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends ... with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. ~Henry David Thoreau
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